All we know is...

The results are in folks...

YES! We're pregnant!!!

There are simply not words to describe how I feel about this statement. One I've been wanting to make for what seems like forever. One I've heard from so many of my friends and family that made me want to cry. One that seemed impossible to make. And one I am finally able to say for myself. I can't even believe it.

We waited 2 LONG weeks to find out whether or not our little frozen circle would become our miracle. And when I say long, I mean long. Especially when I was supposed to start my period on Friday. Last Friday. So usually when you're trying to get pregnant, you wait till the day your period is supposed to start and you wait... If it doesn't come, you run to the store and buy that expensive little stick and awkwardly try to pee on it. (Maybe they aren't really expensive, but it kinda seems that way, right ladies??) 

Anyway, then you wait a few minutes and see what it says. I had one left over from the last cycle. (I had to take one to make sure the last HCG shot had worked.) BUT Justin wouldn't let me take the test because they aren't always accurate and he wanted to wait for the actual blood test. When I did the transfer on Halloween, one nurse told me to schedule the test 12 days out and the other said 14. So i stupidly scheduled it for 14 days. Come day 12, which btw was 5 WHOLE DAYS after my period was supposed to start, I knew I could take a test and it really would be accurate. But I was trying to be so loyal to Justin so I waited... It drove me insane!!

The other thing that was driving me crazy was the fact that Justin was gonna be at work when I found out, so I told everyone I would not respond to any calls or texts the whole day cuz I wanted Justin to be the first to find out whether it was positive or negative. So I'm lying in bed Thursday night and Justin totally scared the beejeebies out of me and showed up at the door! It was seriously an answered prayer! Not only was I not going to have to find out alone, but I was super nervous and scared it was gonna be negative, and that's not news I wanted to get by myself. (rewind to the last time this happened... not a great day for me.)

So I had like 12 dreams that night, many of them about waking up in the morning and secretly taking the pregnancy test I had on the counter. In some of them, I even took the test, but then put it back in the package so Justin couldn't see that I'd done it. I know, I'm weird. I'm not responsible for the craziness that is my mind when I'm asleep. 

Woke up the next morning and got ready to go get my blood drawn. The appointment was at 9. We were a little late cuz I run on CST. (That's CHENEY standard time, not central. :D) The lady drew the blood and was done in about a minute and sent me on my way. No talks with the doc or nurses, no ultrasound, no nothing! Just blood and leave. I asked when the results should be in and she said "by the end of the day." End of the day?! There's no way I was waiting that long...

We went home and got some food... gave Brody and freezing bath outside cuz he rolled in some poo... played some Christmas music on the piano... tried to calm my shaking hands... Eventually we decided to go for a drive, mostly to get out of the house. We dropped some stuff off at DI and as we were leaving, I couldn't take it any longer. 

I called the clinic on speaker phone and just asked the nurse straight up. She said Ok let me look... I told Justin to pull over and he did into a little abandoned parking lot and then we heard "Oh Jessie, You're pregnant!" I'm pretty sure she kept on talking but I don't remember what she said. I started bawling and couldn't control it. I couldn't even respond to her questions that I'm only partly sure she was asking. I took my seat belt off and jumped into Justin's lap and held him really tight, for a pretty long time. We both cried and said nothing and held each other and cried some more. It was a moment that we'll have for the rest of our lives. 

Finally I got ahold of myself and asked what to do next! We hadn't thought about it very much because for the last 3 years it's been all about just saying "I'm Pregnant." She told me that I was 4 1/2 weeks pregnant and could have my first ultrasound next week! (Us IVF ladies get an extra ultrasound that most pregnant ladies don't get. So there! ;) haha.) She congratulated me again and hung up. We sat there, in the car in a random parking lot, and I think I jumped into Justin's lap again. We cried some more and were both in a lot of shock. We pulled ourselves together, again, and started calling family members and close friends. If you didn't get a call, please don't be upset! I wanted to call everyone I knew but I could hardly breathe and my head hurt a lot from all the crying. Sorry!

These are the flowers that Justin got for me. DISCLOSURE --- We don't know if there's one or two or it's a boy or a girl. He got both cuz he thought it was cute and cuz he didn't know what to get. haha. And isn't it cute?! It's true that ppl who do fertility treatments are more likely to have twins than those that don't, but we don't know and won't for a while if there's 2. So stand by for that one! But don't flowers just make you happy?!

I actually took this test this morning, so I already knew. I did it cuz I always wanted to! haha. I guess a very small part of me wanted to just make sure. BTW, the 2-3 means 2-3 weeks pregnant. I'm actually almost 5 but because I took this later in the day, it was a little diluted. I don't really care tho. I just wanted to take it. :-)

Sorry this post is so long but I have to add one thing... All the tears I shed were those of happiness, obviously. But there were also a lot of gratitude. During one of the times I was squished between Justin and the steering wheel, I said a short prayer and thanked Heavenly Father for this enormous blessing. 

I LOVE this quote. It's actually one that has been sent to me a few times by some amazing friends and it's gotten me through this rough time. I really know that this is true! I know that without my faith in Jesus Christ, I wouldn't be where I am and I'm pretty sure I would have given up hope a LONG time ago. I'm eternally grateful for this blessing I've been given and will remember this moment forever.