Mr & Mrs Smith

It's a BOY!!!!! I am seriously in shock. Good shock, but shock none the less. It's a little ridiculous. But lets start from the beginning of this crazy little party cuz it's kinda a fun story to tell.... I don't think it's a super shocker to anyone that I'm kinda a dork.. and I like to throw parties.. and I prolly do way more than I should. haha. I'm also a super cheeser, so I've been wanting to do a gender reveal party since gender reveal parties existed. However, Justin is a little more private than I am so it took quite a bit of convincing. But because he loves me so much, he caved. So I started planning!! haha. I got every single idea off pinterest, so don't give me too much credit. ;) We had our ultrasound scheduled for tuesday but the party wasn't till thursday, so we had the envelope with our destiny in it sitting in the drawer for a full two days. It took EVERYTHING we had to not open it!!! In fact, we almost did one da...

The results are in folks... YES! We're pregnant!!! There are simply not words to describe how I feel about this statement. One I've been wanting to make for what seems like forever. One I've heard from so many of my friends and family that made me want to cry. One that seemed impossible to make. And one I am finally able to say for myself. I can't even believe it. We waited 2 LONG weeks to find out whether or not our little frozen circle would become our miracle. And when I say long, I mean long. Especially when I was supposed to start my period on Friday. Last Friday. So usually when you're trying to get pregnant, you wait till the day your period is supposed to start and you wait... If it doesn't come, you run to the store and buy that expensive little stick and awkwardly try to pee on it. (Maybe they aren't really expensive, but it kinda seems that way, right ladies??)  Anyway, then you wait a few minutes and see what it says. I...

Transfer 2 happened last week! Actually on Halloween. I'm not sure what the implications of that are for my hopeful child but I guess we'll find out. Or at least I hope we will! And as far as I know, the prospects for this little egg are just as good as the last couple. They didn't give me any percentages this time tho.. probably to keep me from hanging on to them too tightly.  Anyway, I got some great pics this time! Fortunately, Justin got to be there. I think part of the reason the last eggs didn't take was because Heavenly Father knew I didn't want to have to explain to my children why their father wasn't there at the moment of their conception. (haha. Just Kidding!) It was actually really nice to have Justin there. The actual inserting of the egg is as simple as simple gets, but if you recall from the last transfer, they do a "washing" of the vaginal canal. And it's the worst of the worst. Last time I got through it with Pinterest. This ti...

I've been wracking my brain trying to figure out how to write this blog post. I started the blog so I could journal and write my thoughts during this process, but also to have the support and prayers of all those reading. But when this news came, I sorta wanted to crawl in a hole and not come out. But the people that I did tell were so gracious and kind and it really did make it easier to bear. So the sad truth is that my little grey circles didn't make it. I woke up on Monday morning and had started passing big clots which was a bad sign. I wasn't sure what it meant at first but then more came and I was pretty sure. Justin was about to go to work and just before he left I started crying and told him I was pretty sure the eggs didn't take and he crawled into bed with me in his button down shirt and tie and held me for a little bit while I cried....   I couldn't call the clinic yet because it was still before 8, but he said he was going to stay with me at least ...