Mr & Mrs Smith

The results are in folks... YES! We're pregnant!!! There are simply not words to describe how I feel about this statement. One I've been wanting to make for what seems like forever. One I've heard from so many of my friends and family that made me want to cry. One that seemed impossible to make. And one I am finally able to say for myself. I can't even believe it. We waited 2 LONG weeks to find out whether or not our little frozen circle would become our miracle. And when I say long, I mean long. Especially when I was supposed to start my period on Friday. Last Friday. So usually when you're trying to get pregnant, you wait till the day your period is supposed to start and you wait... If it doesn't come, you run to the store and buy that expensive little stick and awkwardly try to pee on it. (Maybe they aren't really expensive, but it kinda seems that way, right ladies??)  Anyway, then you wait a few minutes and see what it says. I...

Transfer 2 happened last week! Actually on Halloween. I'm not sure what the implications of that are for my hopeful child but I guess we'll find out. Or at least I hope we will! And as far as I know, the prospects for this little egg are just as good as the last couple. They didn't give me any percentages this time tho.. probably to keep me from hanging on to them too tightly.  Anyway, I got some great pics this time! Fortunately, Justin got to be there. I think part of the reason the last eggs didn't take was because Heavenly Father knew I didn't want to have to explain to my children why their father wasn't there at the moment of their conception. (haha. Just Kidding!) It was actually really nice to have Justin there. The actual inserting of the egg is as simple as simple gets, but if you recall from the last transfer, they do a "washing" of the vaginal canal. And it's the worst of the worst. Last time I got through it with Pinterest. This ti...

I've been wracking my brain trying to figure out how to write this blog post. I started the blog so I could journal and write my thoughts during this process, but also to have the support and prayers of all those reading. But when this news came, I sorta wanted to crawl in a hole and not come out. But the people that I did tell were so gracious and kind and it really did make it easier to bear. So the sad truth is that my little grey circles didn't make it. I woke up on Monday morning and had started passing big clots which was a bad sign. I wasn't sure what it meant at first but then more came and I was pretty sure. Justin was about to go to work and just before he left I started crying and told him I was pretty sure the eggs didn't take and he crawled into bed with me in his button down shirt and tie and held me for a little bit while I cried....   I couldn't call the clinic yet because it was still before 8, but he said he was going to stay with me at least ...

The transfer happened this past weekend!! Yay!! I'm sure some of you are thinking "Yay! What the heck is she talking about?!" Haha. As a reminder... The short story of IVF goes like this.  Step 1- Take a bunch of drugs to make my ovaries over produce.  Step 2- Collect the eggs via surgery.  Step 3- Fancy (and expensive!) doctors take Justin's sperm and inject it into the eggs in a little petri dish.  Step 4- We wait patiently while they grow.  The next step happened this weekend! They take the now fertilized eggs and put them back into my womb to hopefully implant and grow!! This is also the "moment of conception" for us. A woman will likely have lots of eggs fertilize in her lifetime but she doesn't get pregnant if they don't implant. So this is it! The funny thing about it is that Justin wasn't there. :( He had an appointment at work that couldn't be changed so for the rest of our lives we will be able to joke that Justin wasn't ...

After all this waiting, we finally started! I went to the doc yesterday morning, had a blood draw and ultrasound and everything looked the way it was supposed to, so they gave me the go ahead to start poking myself. AHH! Here's a quick overview of the process that's about to happen. (I'm halfway through writing this and i realized some of you probably don't know what i'm talking about, so i'm coming up here to do a little time-line in hopes that the following will make a little more sense... ) We start with 10 days of drugs. (This post is all about that!) Then after 10 days, we do surgery to collect all the eggs. Justin does a sperm donation and they take the two and combine them in a petri dish in the lab. This is when they'll actually inject the sperm into the egg and where the classic photo of IVF comes from. (see just below!) Normally, they just put a bunch of sperm on top of the egg and let them do their job. But since Justin's sperm aren't sh...

This morning I was reading an article I saw on Facebook about things you should and shouldn't say to couples who are struggling with infertility. I've read a few articles like this but this one was written particularly well. Most of them have good things to say but some are written with a lot of bitterness. Trust me, I understand why a person struggling with infertility would be bitter. The problem is that most people don't understand the issue. I have to admit I used to be one of them. I don't think I ever said some of the things that have been said to me, but I never thought for a million years that I'd be the one that couldn't get pregnant.  Anyway, I wish I could find that article I read this morning and I'd just share it, but that's not the point of this post. I recommend every one of you read something like it and try to understand the way we (as in those who struggle with infertility) feel. I'm sorry if you get one with lots of sarcasm and r...

One of the reasons I decided to delve into the blog world again was because of the journey Justin and I have been on the past few years that's finally coming to a high point and hopefully end. I share these experiences because when I started realizing what was happening to us, I searched online to find people that were going through something similar. So... The ailment? Drum roll please.... http://www.conceiveeasy.com/get-pregnant/4-signs-of-infertility/ This image isn't mine, but it sums it up pretty well... It's hard to deal with and people don't realize how many people are dealing with it. When I started sharing what I was feeling, people started coming out of the woodwork to share their feelings. It meant a lot to me so I figure maybe somebody out there could use my experience as well. So..  I've wanted kids my whole life, and I'm pretty sure my mom asked me for grand kids on my wedding day. (I was the first sibling to get married so she was...