1 month down...

Sweet little baby has been growing like a little weed! I can't believe it's already been a month. I've taken a gazillion pictures but they're all pretty much the same view. haha. I will share them anyway but the chances that the picture matches the story. Remember again that this blog is just as much my journal as it is a way to share, so bare with me and the potentially boring stories. :)

Baby sleeping with mommy. :) (There are LOTS of these cuz he's so cute when he's sleeping in my arms.)

The first week at home was awesome and hard and scary and tiring and gave me a ton of anxiety that I didn't expect. Holy Hannah. If you remember from the last post, I mentioned that my milk didn't come in very quickly so I had to start pumping and giving him a bottle. It was easy and fast to feed him but I couldn't be ok with only formula feeding cuz it's just too expensive. Plus I REALLY wanted that experience of being able to nurse. So coming home and not being able to nurse like I wanted was really hard for me... I tried to nurse every time but he wouldn't have it. He loved the bottle tho! (TMI warning >>) Although I was grateful I could feed him my own milk, the pump wasn't my favorite thing. My nipples started to crack and bleed and the milk would be pink in the bottle. :( Not super fun. Then through all this I was also getting really anxious anytime anyone other than Justin or I was holding him. I felt terrible and I knew it was irrational but I didn't want anyone to touch him. This made it hard cuz I was SO tired from being up all the time and I was super sore around my incision so I really needed the help but I didn't want it. I actually broke down and cried several times.. Tuesday after we were home (baby's 1 week birthday) I decided that we were going to make the breast feeding thing work! I knew baby knew how to latch on and suck and all it was gonna take was some patience on my part, so we sat on the couch and tried for a long time... He cried for an hour and a half trying to feed and I cried with him. Justin actually came home from school with friends in tow that wanted to see the baby and I had to send them home cuz I was a wreck. I felt like I wasn't a good enough mom. How was it that I couldn't get pregnant, was horrible at being pregnant, couldn't deliver him on my own and now I couldn't feed him on my own? So not a good feeling... I decided I needed to get a blessing from Justin and our home teacher. I love priesthood blessings. :) They always make me feel better. That night we fed him a bottle but decided to try one more time the next morning. And what do you know.. He latched on almost immediately and started to feed!! It still hurt but I couldn't have cared less. He did almost 15 minutes on both sides! And then I gave him to my mother-in-law to sleep while I also got some much needed sleep. And I didn't feel any anxiety at all. Believe it or not that was as relieving to me as was the fact that he latched on. Guess what folks? The Priesthood is real! I am SO grateful for a hubby who can do that for me. Since then, baby's been a rock star breastfeeder and my nipples don't even hurt anymore! It started that he needed a bunch of boxes checked off in order to latch on (diaper changed, arm behind my arm, other arm held in place, nipple squeezed perfectly in place... etc...) but now he couldn't care less. If he's hungry and the nipple is there, baby is latching on and eating till he's done. ha. He does a good 15 minutes on each side and it's only every 4 hours now! YAY!!!

Baby's first bath!! He hated it. :( He still doesn't love being cold but now that his umbilical cord has fallen off (It took 3 weeks!) we can put him in the warm water and he just chills and loves it. ha.  

Nothing sweeter!!!

Rushy loves baby Ty! He calls him his baby cousin and he wants to be next to him all the time. I love it!

Peyton and Baby Ty! It's fun cuz they're growing up together!

Baby's first time laying out on a blanky outside. :)

Shout out to my mother-in-law who made the first couple weeks possible! She cooked and cleaned and held baby when I needed to sleep and was so wonderful. Thank you!!! I love you!!

These are my favorite pictures! The ones with baby and daddy. Most of them are when he's asleep cuz daddy doesn't love his picture taken but this time he couldn't run away. 

He loves his cousin!!! This was taken at the hospital park. We decided to get together and have a little picnic! It was fun but mostly momentous because it's the first time I successfully breastfed him outside of the house!! Very exciting!! I was seriously so proud of him and me. :)

The binky has saved our lives! He loves it! He spits it out every 10 seconds but he loves it. haha

This was taken the first time baby and I ventured out on our own. haha. It was quite the adventure! I tried SO hard to be home before I had to feed him again but I failed and had to feed him in the car. I pulled into the parking lot of Old Navy and went to the very back where there were no cars and we were in the shade of a tree and fed him. It was on this trip that I forgave my sister for ever being late ever. haha. She's always been known for being late but it's been worse since she's had kids and now I understand! It's so hard to get in and out of the car and to walk around the store and do all that stuff you have to do when you're shopping!!

The following story has nothing to do with the above picture except that if he weren't so cute this story wouldn't be this funny. ... So the other day we were changing his diaper and we hit the trifecta. I had him all clean and had used the last of the wipes and just before I could get the new diaper on he pooed all over!! It's the juicy mustard seedy kind and it was A LOT! So here I am holding his legs with the poo getting sucked under his back and I'm yelling for Justin to get more wipes. He comes in and starts gagging but gets the new wipes and of course he can't open them. haha. While I'm waiting trying to tell him how to open it baby Ty spits up a bunch and gets it all over his hair and now the top of his back. So half of baby is covered in poo and the other half is thick spit up. haha. We get the wipes and clean him off mostly but we really need to give him a bath. I asked Justin to do it but he's never done it before so we traded spots- Justin tended the baby while I'm drew the bath. I didn't put a new diaper on because he was going straight in the bath. Apparently that was a poor decision because he pee'd ALL over himself and the changing table and the floor and Justin! hahahaha. He's yelling and I'm laughing and baby didn't care one bit. We put him in the bath and he was as content as ever. Oh, and all this happened as Justin was supposed to be at a missionary discussion. Needless to say he was late. Oh boy. My brother's response was "Welcome to parenthood!" And all I could say was Thanks!! Like I said before it wouldn't be nearly this funny if that baby weren't so darn cute!!! We still love him. :D

This is my cousin David's wife Meegan!! She is seriously so awesome and I love her! She had her baby only 8 hours after baby Ty was born!! They are so fun and it's been neat to share this experience with them. They actually blessed their baby Alice this past week and it was a really beautiful blessing. Can't wait to bless Ty too!!

Aunt Kelly sent this from her trip to Florida. Baby Tycicle loves you too!!!

Sleeping with baby Ty again. :) Although this time it looks like Ty is giving Dad a nap! 

First time to church!! Do you LOVE his outfit?! It was actually given to us by a member of our ward and it's been his favorite outfit! Actually.. Mommy's favorite. haha. He hates it cuz it's hard to put on. 

Family photo!

This is one of my favorite photos so far. haha. He looks SOO cute! And seriously just like his dad in this pic. 

hahahahaha. Don't you love this face!? He makes it EVERY time we nurse. It's awesome. 

Justin had a little ducky he carried around when he was a baby and one of my young women gave us this little ducky! It's so perfect! He's not in love with it just yet, but he will be soon. :)

This is how he sleeps. haha. I promise I'm sitting by him, making sure he can breathe. 

Found them like this after my Young Women's presidency meeting. :)

This isn't baby Ty, I know.. ha. This is Carter at the going away party we threw for them. He loves the tiger! I can't believe they're gone.. :( (They didn't die, just moved to Arizona. I'm just really sad cuz it's the first time in a long time we haven't all lived within a few minutes of each other. We will miss them!!)

Walk in the park! The hospital where I delivered is right in the middle of a community park that has a mile long track around it. It's where we've taken Brody on his walk since he was a puppy. So now we just added baby! I'm feeling ok enough to walk but I can't go very fast. 

Speaking of how I'm feeling.. ha. I've been getting better every day. My incision still hurts and the right side is still pretty numb and often feels like an open wound even though it's not. :( 

This is my milk drunk baby. haha. 

Daddy let mommy have a girls night out and I went to a Lula Roe party and got a new skirt! It's SO hard to go anywhere without him and I don't want to at all but once I agree and get a few minutes by myself it's actually kinda nice. Am I allowed to say that?! ha. I love my baby but I'm also liking remembering what it's like to be my own person. 

Baby hangin out in the boppy! This thing is a life saver for nursing in bed. I love it! Baby loves it less than I do but it's awesome to put him in here on the bed while I get ready. 

Baby and daddy and puppy. Yay! Brody's been the best puppy ever. :) 

Baby's one month pictures!! Isn't he cute?!

I love that face!

Me and my sweetheart. :)

I'll end with this last thought... Baby has really liked listening to my brother Jon's piano music to fall asleep and I like to sing to him. I'm not an amazing singer but I don't think Ty cares. :) The cd we've been listening to is his most recent Sunday music compilation and it's mostly primary songs. The very first time I played it and sang to him I could hardly get the words out.. I'm sitting there singing "I am a Child of God" and all I can think about is how blessed we are to be given the opportunity to raise one of Heavenly Father's choice spirit children. Then "Teach Me to Walk in the Light" comes one and I realize that it's my responsibility to teach him everything I know about the gospel so that he can gain a testimony of his own and make good choices when he's old enough to do so. It's what I've wanted my whole life but it's kind of a big deal and a lot of responsibility. I am so lucky to have this beautiful son and I'm so grateful to have all this time to spend with him. 

I love being a mom!!!