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A thank you to a friend...

This morning I was reading an article I saw on Facebook about things you should and shouldn't say to couples who are struggling with infertility. I've read a few articles like this but this one was written particularly well. Most of them have good things to say but some are written with a lot of bitterness. Trust me, I understand why a person struggling with infertility would be bitter. The problem is that most people don't understand the issue. I have to admit I used to be one of them. I don't think I ever said some of the things that have been said to me, but I never thought for a million years that I'd be the one that couldn't get pregnant. 

Anyway, I wish I could find that article I read this morning and I'd just share it, but that's not the point of this post. I recommend every one of you read something like it and try to understand the way we (as in those who struggle with infertility) feel. I'm sorry if you get one with lots of sarcasm and rude language, but see past it, and get the take home message. 

One of the things almost all of those posts will tell you is that there's not much you can do to help except be there and offer support. And the point of this post is to thank some one that's been a major strength in this journey I've been on.  I won't say her name because she would probably be embarrassed. She's also a very humble persona and probably doesn't even know the effect she's had on my life. But I feel the need to write this down so I don't forget. (I don't think I could ever forget tho!) (P.S. I don't want this post to take away from all the amazing support my family has given me! They've been amazing and I couldn't have done this without them. This is simply to say a public thank you to someone who's gone the extra mile for me.)

A little back story... I met Jenny (not her real name but I don't wanna keep saying "this woman" for my whole post. haha) when I moved into my new ward. She and I became friends because of a calling we had together. Every time I talked to her she made me feel like I was her best friend. She genuinely cared about what was going on in my life. We were also visiting teaching companions so I got to hear her bear her testimony quite often. It seemed that the messages she shared were more for me than they were for the person we were visiting. I've had visiting teachers in the past that were awesome but their messages were always just reading a quote or something rather superficial. Jenny always knew what to say and how to say it and how to make each message really matter.

Since our infertility journey started, Jenny has been the best of support. She remembers every milestone and appointment that I tell her about and I know she prays for me because I can feel it. Not long ago, I told her about how we were finally getting ready to start and how excited but nervous I was. I was bearing my testimony of how much I've learned lately to trust in the Lord. I desperately want this to work but if it doesn't, I've learned that I'll make it and that the Lord will find another way to make our family. And she replied by saying "Oh Jessie, I would carry that baby for you if I could." I have a hard time thinking about it because it makes me cry. And I don't think she even knows how incredible it was to hear that. I don't know if she would ever or even could ever actually do something like that but the fact that she loves me enough to offer means the world... 

While this post has been about 1 friend in particular, there's one more that deserves honorable mention. I won't say her name either but she's been a strength to me as much as "Jenny." Her support has  been different for me though. She also struggled with infertility and has since had a beautiful baby boy. She has been my symbol of hope through this whole thing and has always been there to share in my grief and my joy. She taught me to trust in the lord and His timing and to be happy in times of storm.  

What both these women did and continue to do is love me no matter what. They don't ask if babysitting is good birth control, or offer to give me one of their children. They never told me to just relax and it will happen when we least expect it. They just asked how I was doing and how they could help and I knew they would do whatever I asked. I will love them forever for that. 

I'm not sure what else to say to end this post properly... I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude and love for Jenny and  and I hope that one day I'll be able to do for them what they've done for me. For now, I think they'll be okay with me continuing to bear my testimony like she does hers. And with that, I hope you all know how grateful I am for the knowledge I have of this gospel. It has brought so much peace and comfort into my life that I don't know what I'd do without it. I know that Our Savior lives and that He loves us more infinitely that we can ever imagine. He suffered for me and for you in the Garden of Gethsemane and on the Cross so that he would  know hot to succor our pains and afflictions and so that we don't have to suffer for our sins. I've felt the full weight of that gift in my life on many occasions and am so grateful for that. I know Heavenly Father created His plan of Happiness so we could all live with him again and be happy for eternity. I know that His priesthood is real and that it can heal our every infirmity. I know the Book of Mormon is true and that we have a living prophet on this earth. We are so lucky to have been given this gospel and I hope that one day I'll be able to teach it to my children and be with them and my hubby for time and i'll eternity. :)

Justin and I at the Jordan River Temple on November 21, 2008, the day we were sealed for time and all eternity and started our amazing family. 

One of my favorite paintings by my dear friend Derek Hegsted of the savior holding a sweet little baby. A beautiful reminder that my children are safe in His hands and waiting to come to our family some day. 


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